Monday, March 30, 2009

Happy Birthday Angels

March is such a sad time for me. Two of my angels would have been born in March. Instead of celebrating I am full of sorrow and grief for what could have been. I will never know as long as I am alive if they were boys or girls. If they were active or quiet. What characters they would have liked as a theme for their special day. Instead of celebrating I sit and wonder all these things and more. The pain will never go away. Part of me thinks I don't want it to go away because it is my way of holding on.

We are planning a lovely garden memorial/quiet place of reflection. We bought a lovely fountain and will plant some pretty flowers, even maybe trees around it. We also have angels to put around it one for each loss. It is a place where I can go and sit peacefully and think about my heartache. See when you miscarry you don't get a grave to go and put flowers on. You don't get to physically mourn the loss. Some even mourn alone as no one else knew they were pregnant. This is my way of creating my own memorial. I hope others find ways to remember their children that were lost too soon.