Friday, April 17, 2009

DECIDING

The week has been full of tests. An HSG to make sure my left tube was functioning. Blood work - so much so that I stopped counting after the 10th vial. A base line ultra sound. Can you say fun times? I need to know if there is anything wrong with me to explain these losses before I can decide whether to try again. In the past we just got back to trying but this time I almost lost my own life. Everything is different. I don't even know if I have the energy to keep trying. My therapist tells me that I shouldn't decide anything now b/c I have years ahead of me. I don't feel like I have years. It has been years and still nothing. I never wanted my son to be an only child. I don't know what to do but hopefully these tests will give me some of the answers I need to make an informed decision.