Friday, April 17, 2009


The week has been full of tests. An HSG to make sure my left tube was functioning. Blood work - so much so that I stopped counting after the 10th vial. A base line ultra sound. Can you say fun times? I need to know if there is anything wrong with me to explain these losses before I can decide whether to try again. In the past we just got back to trying but this time I almost lost my own life. Everything is different. I don't even know if I have the energy to keep trying. My therapist tells me that I shouldn't decide anything now b/c I have years ahead of me. I don't feel like I have years. It has been years and still nothing. I never wanted my son to be an only child. I don't know what to do but hopefully these tests will give me some of the answers I need to make an informed decision.


  1. Hi Rosa
    I'm so sorry you've experienced such heartache. I've lost 5 babies to miscarriage - the last one almost lost me too so i understand your fears over trying again.
    I have no magic words- i just didn't want to stop by without leaving a comment to let you know that someone "gets it" and wishes you gentler days ahead,
    lynette x

  2. I found you from BabyLoss Directory- thanks for sharing your story with us. It helps to know we are not alone. ((hugs)) Emily from Stepping Stones (

  3. Thanks. It is good to kn ow you aren't alone. I wish that there was more support offered to women who have gone through such tragic losses.

  4. Hi Rosa,

    I know this post is very late; however, my heart goes out to you...I just suffered my 5th loss of a baby on August 13, 2010. I have a 12-year old son that I adore but I want to share that same kind of love with another child. I don't know if its in God's plans for me to have another child. It hurts so bad. And you are absolutely right, its good to know that you're not alone...I wouldn't wish any of my tragic experiences on anyone!